HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS.

Topic: His Needs and Her Needs.

Text: 1Tim.5:8; Pro.14:1; Heb.13:4; Eph.5:21-33.

Introduction: The common needs of men and women and has given great insights on how to meet these needs, so you can avoid the daily frustration of unmet needs, and enjoy a happy marriage life.

As you already know, the needs of men are quite different from that of women and that is a fascinating realisation, which of course makes life really interesting. The idea here is not to complain about your needs that are going unmet, but to take the initiative to meet the needs of your partner, it will amaze you how meeting his or her needs, suddenly awaken them to meeting your needs.

Below is a brief overview of what His needs are and what her needs are, according to the His Needs, Her Needs.

His Needs, Her Needs: Men's Needs

1. Sexual Fulfilment.

Sexual satisfaction for the man is on the same level as affection for the lady, and when these two are in place in the relationship, that is one problem solved.

2. Recreational Companionship.

Men place a lot of importance on having their wives as recreational companions, and when a wife considers the activities her husband is involved in uninteresting and tells him to go ahead with those activities without her participation, that can be dangerous to a marriage.

3. An Attractive Spouse.

A man needs a partner who personally looks good to him. On this subject, it's clear that in sexual relationships, most men find it nearly impossible to appreciate a woman for her inner qualities alone - there must be more, and that, a man's need for physical attractiveness in a mate is quite profound.

4. Domestic Support.

Man's need for peace and quiet. A man's need for domestic support from his sweetheart is so deep, that he fantasizes about how she will greet him lovingly and pleasantly at the door; about his well-behaved children who likewise act glad to see him and welcome him to the comfort of a well-maintained home.

The fantasy goes on as his wife encourages him to sit down and relax before taking part in a good-tasting dinner. Later on, that evening, the family goes out for a stroll, and he returns to put the children to bed without any struggle or hassle. And finally, he and his wife relax, talk together for a while, and possibly watch a little bit of television until they retire at an excellent time to love each other. Now, wives may chuckle at this scenario, but this vision is quite typical in the fantasy lives of many men. The man's need for his wife to "take care of things" - especially him, is widespread, persistent, and certainly deep.

5. Admiration.

Man need her to be proud of him. So, wives need to learn how to express the admiration they already feel for their husbands, instead of putting pressure on them for attaining greater achievements. Honest admiration is a great motivator for men. When a woman can tell her man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He can now see himself capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills that are far above his present level.

If any of a spouse's five basic needs go unmet, that person becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. So therefore, the best way to prevent adultery is to meet the needs of your spouse and doing so, would make your marriage stronger.

His Needs, Her Needs: Women's Needs

1. Affection.

Affection, to most women, is the symbol of security, protection, comfort, and approval. When a man is affectionate towards his wife, he is sending the following messages: Number one: I'll take care of you and protect you; Number two: I am concerned about the problems that you face, and I need you to know that I am with you; Number three: I think you have done a good job, and I am so proud you.

Men need to understand how strongly women need this affirmation. It is typical that a wife can hardly have enough of them. Just a hug can communicate all of these affirmation mentioned above, but affection can be expressed in many ways, such as, kisses, cards, flowers, dinner out, opening the car doors, holding hands, walks after dinner, back rubs, phone calls, the list goes on. These are several ways to say, "I love you". From a wife's point of view, affection is the essential cement of her relationship with her man.

2. Conversation.

Wives need their husbands to talk to them, and also listen to them; they need a lot of two-way conversation. During their dating life before marriage, most couples spent a lot of time showing each other affection and talking. This is not expected to be dropped after the wedding, because, when two individuals get married, each partner has a right to expect the same loving care and attention that prevailed during courtship to continue after the wedding. The man who takes time to talk to his woman will have an inside track to her heart.

3. Honesty and Openness.

The total trust of a husband is one of a wife's needs. A sense of security is the common thread woven through all of a woman's five basic needs. If a husband fails to keep up an honest and open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust and eventually destroys her security. In order for a wife to feel secure, she must trust her husband to give her accurate information about his past, present, and the future. If she cannot trust the signals he sends, she has no basis on which to build a solid marriage relationship. Therefore, instead of adjusting to him, she always feels off balance; instead of growing toward him, she grows away from him.

4. Financial Commitment.

The financial commitment of a husband is yet another need of a wife. To live comfortably, she needs enough financial support. Regardless of how successful a career she might have, she usually desires her husband to earn enough money to allow her feel supported and cared for.

5. Family Commitment.

In discussing family commitment wife needs her husband to be a good father to their children and be committed to the family. Most women who get married have a remarkable instinct to create a home and have children. Above all, wives desire their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and commit themselves to the moral and educational development of their children.